Wednesday, August 01, 2007
guess my previous blog posts are really mean right. sorry to those who felt offended.
still i'm not gonna pull down all the posts just because my life with friends will be tougher in future. its fine. at least i get my chance to voice out and i tell everyone how i felt exactly. so yeah. if life's gonna hit me hard, then be it. but in future these kinda serious unhappiness IS going to my diary instead of public.
perhaps friends shld meet out only occassionally like how me n my supper pals are like. and conflicts wldnt arise. as suggested by someone last time.
this is what friends are for.
sometimes i wished life wasn't like that. i wished life was much simplier. no pressure frm family, friends, work, school and society. in this way we can be anyone we wanna be, we can be a person without any qualifications and live a simple life, no one is competiting and who cares about being ths richest or smartest guy on earth! i wished i can stop studying totally, can enjoy life as it is.. spend time with whoever i want.. but if i spend too much time with friends amd bf, my family will be disappointed. if i spent too much time with friends my bf will be disappointed. but yet i often see myself spending more time on friends tham any other thing, i see myself enjoying myself most with my friends around. i often find myself disappointed when i see my friends cant make it. hence i always try to be there for my friends when i think they ask me out. if i don't go, i'll probably be making them as disappointed as how my other friends made me. but then again, who really cares about my presence? maybe my presence irks them. maybe they don't feel the same way as secondary school times anymore, maybe, maybe, maybe... if i don't make the effort, will they feel sad? or will they feel nothing? i don't know. i don't wish to think of the answer either. maybe it'll end up hurting me instead. how come right now i feel like i've just broken off with boyfriend two years back ? sighs. goodnight.
-when are you
coming back? ;
